my limit is: 5 Gay Guys in a Room [no, it's not about an orgy]
Okay, let me put this out there since it has been popping-up during my recent conversations with the heterosexuals lately. Someone once asked me why I rarely frequent places where the rainbow flag hangs or in plain terms, gay-oriented clubs and bars?
Well, the Barefoot Baklesa is not necessarily what they call a Scene Queen -defined as one who frequents the gay scene and "where it doth play" -a little Elizabethan English there for you. I'm not being an elitist about it but when I was studying at the Ateneo some years back, when we had the time to go out, I never sought to go to the places where people like us [PLUs] frequent.
Back then, Eastwood City at Libis was the farthest most of us could go, and often out of necessity; to find a good place to eat. Tanghalang Ateneo rehearsals would normally last until midnight, therefore dinner would be after that. Between academics, the theater,a part-time job in the live performance industry, and whatever is left to spend time with my family, a gays-night-out was just an impossibility.
On the other hand, I don't really have a lot of gay friends, nor did I seek their company. The amount of homosexuals in Tanghalang Ateneo was the right amount of gay I could handle. I did prefer hanging out with the breeders, truth be told. I thought I had the obligation to be the token gay guy; and also because the Doll House Bench by the side of the Rizal Study Foyer facing Kostka Hall where all the effete homosexuals of my day converged wasn't really my crowd. Although some of them were pleasant acquaintances, it was just a matter of preference.
If any Doll House gays are reading this, I mean no offense. You see, I also had a bench where only a select bunch of gay guys hung-out: the second set of benches after the vending machine at Kostka facing the quad. But strangely enough, there were only five of us there. Even in Tanghalang Ateneo, when the Alumni leave, there were five of us from the usual stock. So, I reckon five became comfortable for me. If under these consequences, I have developed that kind of comfort zone, then so be it.
When I was working with Circuit Asia for an event before, I felt so awkward inside Club Government and at Bed. I just wanted to get it over and done with! An entire club of gay men was not my thing. I read somewhere before that it's called "homophobia from a homo", but I do protest that term. It's not that I can't stand my own kind, but one thing that adds to this is the elephant in the room that is out and about when a lot of gay men are around:the gay brand of competitiveness.
It's like when a group of girls are competing for the attention of the attractive guy that walks into the club, and all the claws are out. Men, being naturally competitive are much more complicated when they are gay. Ergo, I can't stand it when the fangs of our kind are bared. Gay people have defined the word MEAN for quite some time now, and we know what we are capable of. I don't want to be caught in the middle of that one...
Is it just me? I really don't know... Tell me what you think.